Case 1,873
by jennibearrr
Summary: [Case #1,873]The suspect was shortly killed by Detective 88 after a brief encounter with Detective 87. Both detectives were seen conversing with each other about the death of suspect in a humorous tone. The body was left at the scene. [End.] Koenma pinched the bridge between his nose. "Boys." Previously known as "Mary Sue Loves You."


I had to do this. Lately, I've been reading stories that feature dreaded Mary-Sues!  
OH MY GOODNESS!  
I felt like poking a bit of fun with these ridiculous Mary-Sues.

**Disclaimer**: Yu Yu Hakusho does not belong to me and my obsessive hands, but I shall drool over Hiei, Kurama, Yusuke, and teenaged Koenma all I want!

**EDIT: Oct.16 2012:  
**This has been edited a little bit with a bit more content so if you're reading it now, it's better than the first time around. Enjoy the update (even though first time readers won't feel like it's an update.)

As for an explanation for Detectives 87 and 88, I don't believe that Koenma didn't have detectives before Yusuke. If there is someplace that states otherwise, let me know please!

* * *

**[Case File#1,873]**

_Run._

Mary ran through the never-ending forest of the park. The greenery magically stretched for miles upon miles till she reached an opening. Her eyes darted rapidly in search for a certain group of Spirit Detectives that she had never met nor seen before, but knew exactly who they were through author's intuition. With that mindset, she dove back into the forest until she came across a tall, lean red-headed _bishōnen _sticking out like a sore thumb against the forest.

Her heart leapt in her chest with pure joy as he turned around to see the source of the commotion with wide eyes. "Kurama-kun!" She yelled, launching herself at him at top speed due (but not limited) to her demonic mix of ice, fire, wind, thunder, shadow, ninja, sniper, spy, and elemental ghost abilities.

Kurama laid sprawled on the grass with the air knocked out of him and a crazed girl, weeping and choking him to death. (Although, later reflection concluded that this _attack _was a show of admiration in the form of a hug.) His eyes searched around for his partner to rescue him. Kurama did not wanted to harm the girl by any means, but the impulse to shove her to the ground was increasingly growing in the back of his mind.

"Oh Kurama-kun! My Kurama-kun!" Mary continued to wail, squeezing the life out of the fox till he began to turn a sickly shade of blue. Kurama was slowly slipping into the grasps of the Spirit World before Mary realized that she was about to kill her beloved _bishōnen _and let go. " I am so sorry, Kurama-kun. I let my amazing, cool shit, wonderful strength get the better of me. My ancestor from Gidub* told me that I would embrace and almost murder a handsome, devil such as yourself. And then you will give me the seed of your child and we will live in my mazing palace in Gidub with the world at our fingertips." Mary dropped on all fours and began to creep closer toward the flabbergasted demon, licking her lips _seductively._

Still on his back from recent events, Kurama pushed himself up to his feet and stepped away. He had faced many Marys in his recent popularity of _Yu Yu Hakusho. _(The idea that a single author composed this mess was irritating, but he thanked him for creating the world with everyone in it. Including a _creator_ of their own world.) Mary came with many codenames to diguise the creation of these Marys through crackfics and _serious_ fanfiction: Suzy, Ms. M, Mary-Anna-Sue, Suzy Mar, Ms. SM, names **he **couldn't even pronounce, or Raven. If names weren't enough, he'd seen a rainbow of colors attached to each girl for their hair and eyes: red, blue, yellow, green, purple, orange, violet, and/or a lethal combination of colors that Yusuke named, _rainbow vomit_.

Though the existence of these characters would not have been an issue if they were in a different fandom, but unfortunately, it was. These girls (and rarely boys) were becoming an increasing problem to everyone in their world. With the frustration they brought, there came many causalities. Koenma was furious with his detectives, especially Hiei. Each detective (and Youko when applicable) had a body count under their name; Hiei had a grand total of 948 victims with a variety of methods to dipose of them. The rest of the detectives (including Youko) split the remaining 924 Marys. (Youko was currently in second place with Kuwabara handling only a handful of them.)

His thoughts were interrupted by his current predicament; Mary was gleefully bouncing around with a running mouth that expressed her utter joy in meeting the red-haired Spirit Detective. Every statement that flew from her mouth circulated around the fact that Kurama had fallen deeply in love with her and how every single detail of their sex life would be posted on every single _Yu Yu Hakusho_ forum that ever existed.

Pinching the bridge between his eyes, he sighed deeply. Youko was slowly surfacing with the intention of annihilating her from the face of the planet. Every physical change that Youko brought was appearing: nails elongated, phasing into sliver hair, green eyes melting into golden, and an increase of demonic energy. Mary stared in awe at the sight, praying to _Kami_ that this was not a dream. Just before Kurama completed his transformation, a tiny prick jabbed his spirit senses.

_Allow me. _A voice echoed inside as mind with wicked intent.

In a split second, a sword had made contact with Mary's neck and decapitated her. Her head rolled away with a crazed expression on her face. Blood spurted from her jugular, further draining the poor creation. Kurama quickly phased back as soon as transformed with a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Hiei."

Hiei jumped from his spot to a low, sturdy branch of the closest tree. He wiped his blade clean with a pink cloth before stuffing it into his cloak. A fixed glare settled on Kurama, confusing the fox. "Yes, Hiei?"

"Without my permission, you rid me of one of the revolting creations." (Through the eyes of Kurama,) Hiei huffed before escaping into the night.

Kurama shook his head at his companion, puzzled over his behavior before shrugging it off.

_That troublesome fox will not surpass my superiority. _

Kurama chuckled to himself, headed for home.

**[Case Closed.]**

Koenma shut the most recent file and tossed a bin labeled, _Hell._ He sucked on his pacifier in frustration as the body count continued to grow. At this rate, there would need to be an world to toss these creations to since their current residence was beginning to reach over capacity. This is far beyond what they imagined.

**_Body count: 1,873_**


End file.
